How to Tell if You're Drunk

I'm sure this has happened to you; you're out slowly drinking for several hours, alternating between water and your chosen beverage, dancing, out in hot sun, or whatever else. You have drank so much but a whole lot of time has passed. You wonder,"Am I drunk?".

Here's how to tell:

Are you "pointing" a lot or using any other hand gestures you wouldn't normally use?

Have complete strangers become your best friends?

Have you spilled any of your drinks?

Are you texting people you shouldn't at an inappropriate hour?

Are you trying to prove to others you are sober?

Where are your shoes?

Stop touching your face!

You've "known" him 45minutes!

Bitch! you're drunk!

Ultimately, if you aren't sure if you are drunk you're most likely drunk. Sober people don't wonder these things.

How do you know you're drunk?