The "R" Word

Relationships are unhealthy. They are for me anyway. The ones that mean the most are quite brief and the ones that suck the life out of me tend to not go away.

I am an outstanding girlfriend. I cook, I dote, I anticipate needs, I give back rubs, I purchase gifts, I draw pictures, and literally go all in with expectations and long term goals. I'm reliable, I'm accessable, I'm understanding, and I'm always supportive. I approach every relationship I fall into like the last relationship I'll ever have. It makes perfect sense: I like you enough to let you claim me in public, I kiss your face regularly, and I most likely bust my ass to spend most of my time with you. "Keeping" you is a #1 priority and 100% worth it to me if you were lucky enough to make it this far. 

Being SuperGirlfriend never effing works! It always ends with some guy I thought to be amazing turning into a mean dude who just takes advantage of me. 

I'm Never good enough

I'm always "missing" something

I'm a failure

So starts the agonizing process of "getting over it." Which, quite frankly, feels unnatural. I just dedicated a large portion of my life to someone I obviously cared about for nothing. I saw endless ways to "fix it" that fell on deaf ears. It's not fair! The person I saw as my best friend and most trusted human being on the planet has suddenly vanished into oblivion. 

The fact I came from a very small town of just under 10,000 people probably has a lot to do with this. When a relationship ends in Cody you still see that person around. They are not completely gone from your life. You see them in online social networks, the grocery store, bar, mini golf course, walking around aimlessly downtown, etc. In a small town you're stuck with these people whether you like it or not. Eventually you have to learn to play nice.

That awkward moment when you realize you've slept with two of the four people in the room...

That is unfortunately not he case in larger areas. When a relationship dissolves that other person evaporates out of your life. This person you cared so much about is Gone, never to be seen again, or a least for a very long time. There's nothing you can do about it.

Ways to "Get Over It":

Cry on the floor of your best friend's classroom. The more often the better. Although, it doesn't quite come off as professional.

Try and meet as many new people as possible. Whine to them about your problems. If they don't appreciate it they'll disappear too. Win! Win!

Start a Blog. [You like it right?]

Do all the things you were excited about doing with that person without them. Just because they are gone doesn't mean the fun outings are too.

Apply for grad school, new jobs, and anything that will keep you engaged.

 [Please Recycle]

Eventually you will fill your time with so much unnecessary BS that you will forget why you needed to fill it in the first place.

*Disclaimer: None of this actually works. They're gone, it effing sucks, there is nothing you can do.

There's Nothing I can do...